WARNING: this isn’t meant to be one of those posts.
It’s just a friendly reminder, rather a friendly note to anyone “in the throes” of singleness who are looking for a little real-talk-pick-me-up.
I won’t sugar coat it: being single for the holidays isn’t always rosy. But, you know that already.
Okay, wait—here’s another one: singleness during the holidays can be a real celebration downer.
Hmmm, that’s not uplifting either.
Okay, how about: you’re single. It’s the holidays. Here you are. Welcome.
Let me be blunt—no amount of words or phrases I could come up with will really help settle your heart around singleness, if you’re not wanting to hear it. I can’t mystically make Mr. or Ms. Somewhat-Right-for-you appear out of thin air with these words (as much as I wish I could do that for you, friend—and I totally would). Nor can I truly know where your heart or mind is at, since I’m not God.
But I can tell you what I do know:
There are some good, highly cheesy holiday romcoms on Netflix right now—so take note and advantage.
Santa agrees: chocolate chip cookies are still really good with milk.
Real Christmas trees are 100% way cooler than fake ones (I will always stand by this, always).
Hot cocoa and Harry Potter marathons by a fireplace is never a bad idea.
Surrounding yourself with people who love the heck out of you during the holidays is the best part of it all.
Also, matching onesie pjs are always the jam.
That’s about it. That’s really all I know for certain, pertaining to this holiday season, and this life season that I’m (and maybe you’re) currently in right now. Which, admittedly isn’t much. And by now you’re probably wondering why I just wasted your time writing a bunch of seemingly irrelevant things in a listicle format. Well, because they’re true, duh. And also because maybe being single during the holiday season is not what some of us would rather be, but there are still things to be done and memories to be made regardless.
Because for some, holidays are painful reminders of where they are yet to be and what is socially expected of them, in a culture that for the most part often leaves them out of the equation entirely (looking at you, church). And sometimes it’s all I can do to just remind my fellow singles out there that there is still lots of life to carry on with and soak up to the full.
As a good friend once told me, a lot can happen in a year.
Does this mean that you should hold out for hope that this time next year you’ll be boo’d up and snuggled with that special someone sipping hot cocoa while admiring the nearby holiday lights?
To be honest, I couldn’t tell you. And to be even more honest, it’s sort of a waste of time to simply dwell and daydream of the perhaps someday’s when there are so many actual, real days ahead to be present and alive in. I can tell you that a lot really can happen in a year, and that means you have a solid 365 days to make the most of, right now. If God has given you breath in your lungs and even a semblance of a vision for your future, you can make the most of any season. Single or otherwise.
Holidays aren’t always easy to celebrate, regardless of relationship status. But they’re definitely a time to try. But that’s entirely up to you.
If you’re single this holiday season, you’re in good company. If you’re tired of being single this holiday season—you guessed it—you’re in good company. And if you’re doing your best to follow God’s calling for you today and trying to navigate this thing called life—yea, you are still in good company.
Keep going, keep seeking, keep asking and praying.
Keep striving after Him, because His plans—and here’s really where the cliché really hits the fan—are far greater than any we could come up with on our own. And it’s not our job to know the future or what’s in store. Just to take each day in stride and trust that He’s got this good plan to accomplish. And then maybe do a little happy dance that we get to be a small part of it.
Stay sane out there, friends. Or, at least try. You might feel that familiar prickly sensation arise again after clicking onto Facebook or IG and running into another “friend’s” engagement post, or when your family friend asks if there’s someone special in the picture, or maybe even when you start to wonder if God really does have your back in this at all.
He does. Yes, He already knows. He sees you and he’s listening to you. He hasn’t forgotten you and He isn’t ignoring you—it’s just not in His nature.
God is not one to hold your past against you or play cruel games with your heart (a la Backstreet Boys). He’s a good God who loves you and wants the absolute best for you. Which, depending on where you’re at right now, may be singleness. Or engagement. Or that weird in-between of dating for a while and wondering where the heck that ring is.
He’s got you and though you might not see your situation as necessarily “good”, God does. He’s seeing you right where you’re at, and asking you to trust Him to lead you to what’s best.
Have a lovely holiday season, my sweet friend. You’re seen, known and loved. And I’m thinking of you as we head toward this Christmas season.
All my love, and many of my prayers—