Never Enough

Never Enough

Value (noun.): the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

Invaluable: extremely useful; indispensable.

I’m not sure why, but this word has been constantly ringing through my mind all week.

Value.

Valuable.

Do I have value? What is it? 

Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you…

Luke 12:27-28

If there is one thing I have learned from being a twenty-something, it is that my worth does not come from where or what I thought it did.

Looking back, I can recall times in my life when I said to myself,

“Well, once I get a boyfriend, I’ll matter more…”

Shallow, maybe.

Naïve, certainly.

Tragically mislead, most definitely.

The sad thing is, I said this to myself so much that I began to actually internalize it and believe it was true.

Who I was, as “Leighann”, didn’t matter so much anymore. Instead, I focused more on losing weight, because it’s scientifically proven that “fat” girls never get boyfriends (Note: sarcasm & dramatic eye roll). I worried more about grades and high marks, because no one would ever date a “dummy” (Also not true, I’ll just leave it at that).

Eventually, my worries about being adequate “girlfriend” material shifted to simply being an adequate person. And no matter what I did, said, or thought brought me to that end point. This led me to conclude that the “truth” of the matter was:

I was not enough.

Something was always missing.

As I got older (thank the Lord), I began to realize, as most young girls eventually do, that being in a relationship was not the end goal.

Alas, there was more to life after all.

I started to notice some patterns though. And not the pretty ones you see in JoAnn’s fabrics, that you make into cute little aprons and cozies. Some pretty, startling ones.

Like when girls get together to talk about “girl” things, and one of them mentions their displeasure about their body, and then continues to harp on it, sending them into a body-shaming frenzy. Or the fact that their forehead has one too many zits, making it impossible to leave the house without makeup. Or they’re afraid that their boyfriend will be disinterested in them if they don’t do this or that – they fear that they’re holding them back.

That they just might not be, enough.

When I hear things like this, my heart breaks.

“What do you mean ‘you’re not enough’? You’re more than enough. You’re…you’re…” I want to shake them and yell it at them. But I don’t yell it. Sometimes, I don’t even say it. But I should. Because I truly believe it.

It’s hard to hold onto this belief that you might not be enough. I mean, what else can you give really, if all you have to offer is seemingly minute?

If you are going through a similar struggle, making the statement “I am not enough…” I urge you not to settle for that.

Challenge it.

Who says you’re not enough just the way you are?

You say:

“I’m ugly.”

“I feel unwanted and unloved.”

“No one cares.”

“I feel like whatever I do, it will never amount to—”

But listen to what God is telling you:

“My beloved {insert name here}, you are and forever will be, fearfully and wonderfully made. You are a new creation and a precious gift to Me, and those around you. You are loved, cherished, and belong to Me. Nothing you do will ever change this. Ever. Despite what you may have heard recently, only my opinion matters in this life. And I believe you are enough. I believe you are invaluable. Promise.”

(…and God doesn’t break promises)

...and God doesn't break promises Click To Tweet

Please, please, please.
I can tell you ‘til the cows come home, but you need to believe this yourself:

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I am sick and tired of watching/reading about these high standards of what is beautiful, what is manly, what is enough in this world.

Our world is broken, shouldn’t it make sense that its rules and regulations of what is ‘enough’ are too?

Our world is broken, shouldn’t it make sense that its rules & regulations of what's ‘enough’ are too? Click To Tweet

Dear friends, let this soak into your skin, and seep into your heart, that the truth of the matter is: you are more than enough.

let this soak into your skin, and seep into your heart, that the truth of the matter is_ you are more than enough.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 6:10

Walk bravely, dear friends.

2 Comments
Leighann

Twenty-something, lover of Jesus. I like animals (esp. dogs), Fun-Fetti cupcakes and yoga. I love God and do my best to love others. I hate too-warm weather and socks that fall into your shoes when you walk. I'm a huge fan of Christian rap and cold, sunny days.

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2 Comments

  • Jill Miller

    Great post! You are certainly enough despite the negativity this world shows. Great Job. Very encouraging!

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Thank you for reading, Jill – I am continually learning this lesson! I so appreciate your encouragement 🙂

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  • 𝒹𝒶𝓎 18 𝑜𝒻 31

Obsession. I like to say photography is my love language—I have no idea what that means, but it sounds nice, right? I’m obsessed with taking pictures and learning more about composition, editing and trying new things with my little @canonusa baby. *accidentally deleted my post from yesterday—so here it is again*
  • This is not a drill—it’s a GIVEAWAY! 
Meet Kayla (@kayzilch). Though we’ve met just recently, I immediately recognized her as a kindred spirit (she’s also a Type-4 Enneagram)! Her writing is real, authentic and delves into an array of important topics such as mental health, identity, faith and much more on her blog @tobetruth_. She’s also working to become a certified yoga teacher and is passionate about her work as a freelance writer! 
Meet Meghan (@meghantschanz). I’ve never met a woman so determined and passionate about creating authentic community and tackling tough topics. She’s not afraid to go there and start conversations about real-world issues like sex- and labor-trafficking around the world, feminism (or lack thereof) within the church and equality for ALL. She’s currently working on securing a book deal, with the goal of empowering women around the globe to recognize their influence in society and their ability to make the world a more equal place. 
These women are doing some amazing things and I’m honestly just excited to come along for the ride. I believe in us, the work we’ve been called to do and I hope, after learning more about us, you will too. To celebrate and continue advocating for causes we believe in, we’re doing a giveaway with @causebox. 
Here’s where you come in:

1. Give this post a (♡) double tap.

2. Go follow @meghantschanz & @kayzilch.

3. After you’ve done both of those things, come back here and tag two women whose life, work and friendship you believe in! 
The prize is a summer-themed @causebox valued at $300, packed full of small-batch, sustainable and ethically created gifts made by women and small businesses around the world. 
Winner will be announced Friday (8/24) morning at 10am EST!
  • 𝒹𝒶𝓎 17 𝑜𝒻 31

Blue. I’ve been looking for a way to fill my ginormous (at least it seems that way) white living room wall. Every time I thought I knew how I wanted to decorate that space, I changed my mind suddenly, determined that there had to be a better way to fill the empty 
space.

I didn’t know this about me before, but it hit me one day, as my parents were helping me unpack my stuff in my new place. My mom began asking me what I’d like my new place to look like, rug colors, mat textures, wall—fixtures and all. I am no good at decorating. Like, I had no idea how to put a space together. I’ve never been on my own before and the idea of having to decide how my space would be...mine, freaked me out. 
But then, little by little I found some pieces that I didn’t hate, and started to put them together. And yesterday, I stumbled upon these little treasures at Marshall’s. I couldn’t resist the ocean hues and beach vibes. I knew it was meant to be. 
All that to say, for anyone else struggling to put your place together after either never having to do it before #livingsingle or maybe putting the pieces of your life back together after a breakup or split—take your time. It will all come together eventually and it will look amazing. And before you know it, it will start to look, like you. ttys
  • 𝒹𝒶𝓎 16 𝑜𝒻 31

Hot. No, it’s not what you think. As a matter of fact, when I first saw this picture I was horrified. I saw all that was wrong with my body, my hair and my skin—ugh. 
But you know what? No one’s perfect. And thank God I don’t have to be. Plus, my body was/is working just fine, my hair was moisturized, and my skin was poppin’. Trying to shift my moments of self-doubt and body-consciousness to thankfulness and positive self-talk. 
Also, the day this was taken was HOT, so it still counts towards today’s #augusteyecandy.

I don’t know if anyone’s told you today, but you’re made splendidly and you couldn’t be more perfect than you are right now—yes, even in this heat with your mascara running down your face. ttys 
S/O to @kayzilch and/or her awesome fiancé, Michael for this pic 📸
  • 𝒹𝒶𝓎 14 𝑜𝒻 31

5pm. 
It’s crazy to think that I’ve actually posted one picture on IG for TWO weeks straight. Especially considering all that’s been going on around me: moving back across the country for school, moving into my new place, actually starting school, remembering how to (somewhat) adult—throw in a little bit of anxiety, and you’ve got yourself the past two weeks of my life. 
All that to say—we made it, folks. We made it to today. And that is enough. You’re doing great—ttys
  • TW: Anxiety/Panic Attack

Anxiety is like a shadow that’s been following me around since I was about thirteen. I guess puberty marked the onset of racing thoughts, subtle hyperventilation and that queasy feeling you get when something’s just not right. I had my first panic attack at nineteen, during a new hire orientation. It felt like I was having a heart attack—my heart inexplicably began to race, my hands shook and I felt warmth all around me. 
I excused myself to the reception area and, in a panic, asked the receptionist if she could help me. She said to place my hands above my head and breathe. I paced around the lobby and breathed, eyes closed. Inhale. Exhale. I worried for a moment that I would die. Then gradually, my heart began to beat at normal pace again. My breathing deepened and my body cooled down to normal as I continued to pace, slower this time. The kind receptionist gave me some water to sip and sat me down until I was ready to go back to the meeting. 
Anxiety can feel like a high-speed train. Going 5mph one minute and 150 mph the next. It can also be subtler, feeling like you can’t quite catch your breathe and you begin to hyperventilate, in a way that is only recognizable to you. 
Although I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, anxiety has taught me the importance of coming back to the present. And how allowing myself to feel what is presently around me, can ground me and remind me that I’m alive. I’m safe. 
I share this story in order to start the conversation. Anxiety is a part of my life, whether I like it or not. I hope you know that first of all:

1. You are loved beyond measure and valuable even with your anxious thoughts and actions 
and 
2. You are not the only one 
ttys

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