From the Diary of a Single Girl: Aren’t You Tired of Waiting?

Aren't You Tired of Waiting? - Hat in the sun


Joy Beth Smith. Remember that name, folks. If not now, you will. 

I’ve been reading—no, pouring over her first ever published book, Party of One: Truth, Longing and the Subtle Art of Singleness—and ya’ll, I’m shook. 

I’ll get into a more detailed review of the book in a later post, but for now I thought I’d share a bit about my journey through singleness and how this question of: What are you waiting for? comes into play. 

I’ve mentioned it before, but in singleness, there are moments that just plain suck. And those moments make you want to just crawl back into bed—if you even bothered to emerge from your covers in the first place—and spend the day wallowing in self-pity and Netflix binges. I wallow, in retrospect, because sometimes I think I can’t and shouldn’t do certain things alone. 

We put too much aside as we wait for marriage. There are the predictable things, like swanky pots and pans that we’re unwilling (or unable) to spend a fortune on, but also experiences and trips and relationships we keep looking at and saying ‘not yet.’

JB is right, when she then interjects and asks herself, “well, why the heck not?

What the heck am I waiting for? More specifically, who the heck am I waiting on? When I dig deeper and ask myself this question, the answer is a resounding—“me”.

Can I be real for second?

I second-guessed my decision to go to grad school on more than one occasion. 

And no, it wasn’t because it was over 2,000 miles away from the life I knew and loved for over 20+ years. It was because I worried that my pursuit of higher education would get in the way of me finding someone—or rather, him finding me. 

I know. Even typing that out sounds super lame and a little desperate. But I would be lying to you if that’s not how I felt at times during that season of my life. A little lame and a little desperate. 

I was so caught up in this idea that if I’m too busy pursuing my ACTUAL DREAMS, that I’d miss out on someone who was looking for me. 

Was I so caught up in this idea of even a tiny possibility of romance that I was really about to forgo all that I’d worked so hard for? 

Aren't you tired of waiting - girl looking to the sun

Well, yeah. I was THAT caught up. I’d read the statistics. Black women are the least likely to marry among all races. And the more educated that woman is, the more her “marriageability” at least in the eyes of society, plummets. Well, doesn’t that make you just want to go and apply for a PhD program? 

My numbers were low as it was, in terms of relationships with men and dates I’d gone on. Adding a degree to the equation just didn’t seem to bode well when looking at those stats. 

But, then it hit me. I was missing a key component in this pythagorean theorem-esque love equation the world was selling, and I was buying into. God is bigger than any statistic or factoid out there. His plan reigns supreme and unstoppable. Nothing I can do/not do/stop doing could ever get in the way of His ultimate purpose and plan for my life. 

Even especially my romantic life. 

It was time to have a real conversation with Him. Because listening to the white noise the world constantly replayed over and over in my head became deafening. And I needed to turn to the only One who’s voice speaks ultimate truth. 

Should I still go, Lord? Will you still work with me on this area of my life, even if the stats are working against me? Even if I’m worried it will never happen for me? 

His answer—a resounding, “yes”. 

legs - what are you waiting on?

Looking back, even the idea of what I was asking myself back then—only a mere 12 months ago—makes me cringe. I think about all the opportunities I would have missed had I chosen to listen to that fear in the back of my mind. In the deepest part of my longing heart. 

What I have in mind for my life is good. But what God has in mind is extraordinary.

You see, we singles can sit and wait all we want. For God to bring him or her into our lives and “make things better”. But we’ll be waiting a long time, friends. No one can make your life, except for you. No one can give your life meaning, aside from God. 

So what is it exactly that you’ve been waiting to do because of your singleness, prolonged or otherwise?

Get a dog? 

Buy a real couch and finally decorate your apartment? 

Travel to South America?

Move across the country? 

This next question is a simple one, but one that nevertheless needs both my own answer and yours:

What are you waiting for? 

What are you waiting on?


Twenty-something, lover of Jesus. I like animals (esp. dogs), Fun-Fetti cupcakes and yoga. I love God and do my best to love others. I hate too-warm weather and socks that fall into your shoes when you walk. I'm a huge fan of Christian rap and cold, sunny days.

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June 11, 2018


  • Heather

    I’ve been single for nearly a decade, but I honestly don’t mind it! I’ve always liked being alone, though, so maybe it’s just me!

    • Leighann


      Thanks for reading and sharing, Heather! There’s definitely perks to singleness, so I hear you!

  • Ashley Rae

    I am not and have never waited on anything! The statistics are true, but the Universe has a way of putting things in divine order. Also with a little initiative. It’s okay to speak to the guy you think is cute it just might get you what you’re wanting! Good read!

    • Leighann


      Thanks so much, Ashley! Definitely. Be bold. Take risks. And make things happen. I am here for all of it!

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  • A year ago,
you did not know today.
You did not know
how you’d make it here.
But you made it here.
By grace, you made it here. - @morganharpernichols
  • A strong woman also knows when to ask for help. And strong women, support and uplift each other. 
I’ve been feeling kind of burnt out from writing lately and my arch nemesis “writers block” has reared its ugly head once again. But I’ve been experimenting with “tactile creativity”—that is, using my hands to create things with yarn and fabric—which has been a real blessing to me. 
Sometimes, I just end up in a rut—physically, socially, mentally, spiritually, creatively, etc. But more often than not, I place myself there. So, this week I will try and work on getting out of it.

Any and all ideas are welcome. And a reminder—you are a brilliant light in this world, don’t dim it ♥️ ttys
  • Creating for the shop @oh_shecreates on this windy Friday 🌻 
It’s officially #nationalweekofmaking ✨ + because #makersgonnamake I’m looking to add more fun creations to the shop. Stay tuned for more—and don’t forget to keep creating, friends! #createmorecompareless #etsysellersofinstagram
  • ...because sometimes you just want a hat that won’t interfere with your coils! To my fellow #naturalistas I give you @curlcap—a game-changer. It’s lined with satin, so yes, girl—your edges are safe and sound 🙋🏾‍♀️ I found this gem on #etsy for less than $25, and my life will never be the same.

You think I’m being dramatic? You must not have natural hair. 
She also has a super cute #Killmonger pin that I’m eyeing currently 👀
#etsysellersofinstagram #shopsmallbusiness #blackownedbusiness
  • Comparison is an ugly game that no one wins. 
Yet, every so often—more often than I’d like to admit—I find myself comparing where I am, how I look & what I create, to others. But where’s the grace in that? 
Comparison deprives you of joy and contentment. It makes it harder for you to be happy for others in their accomplishments—even your own. 
That’s why I started the #createmorecompareless hashtag because it reminds me to mind my own business, work well at the tasks I’ve been given and not stress about what I haven’t done, or who’s done it better... Two truths I’ve come to understand in all of this: 1) there will ALWAYS be someone who’s better than you, and 2) you don’t have to be like everyone else, just be yourself and whatever is meant to be, will. 
You are loved. No need to compare. You are extraordinary. ttys♥️
  • As promised, I’ve got something new for you! Today, #ontheblog I’m sharing another piece of my journey through singleness, inspired by @jbstwocents new book #PartyofOne 
I’m asking myself, what is it that I’m waiting for, exactly? To do the work that I’ve been entrusted to do. To try out a dream I’ve had. To see new places. 
You can read it over via the link in my bio ☝🏾 the next question is: what are YOU waiting for?

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