From the Diary of a Single Girl: When Being Single Kinda, Sorta Sucks

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Part 2 of the Single Woman’s Blogging Challenge

“Does being single ever suck?”

 Oh–what? No, never!

In fact, it’s always sunshine-y and beautiful being single. Not a single sucky thing about being single.

Nope! Not here.


Okay, so maybe that was a little sarcastic.

Let me start by saying that singleness is in no way, the worst thing to ever happen to a person. Despite what some people might think, it really isn’t! 

But I’m not going to sit here and pretend it’s all sunflowers and puppies. The truth is, sometimes being single does suck. 

Like I mentioned before, there is definitely a reason (or maybe two or three) as to why I’m single. And some days, that truth is easy to understand and agree with. I have my whole life ahead of me. I can do anything–go anywhere and not have to consider anyone else’s opinion or feelings about it. Sorry mom and dad–I love you and all, but…

It’s the truth. The only person I’m accountable to is myself–well, and God.

But I have to admit, there are some days when that pesky self-doubt trickles in and whispers nothing but lies and condescension. And then there are those days when all I want is someone to take me out to a nice dinner and buy me ice cream and bring me pretty flowers when they pick me up.

People still do that, right?

I’m not usually one to be pessimistic, but for the sake of this blogging challenge, I want to share some moments that I’ve found that really highlight the “suckiness” of singleness. Enjoy!

Being single sucks when…

…all you want to do is get dressed up, and be taken out for a change. 

Everything has been taken care of, and all I have to do is show up. Is that really too much to ask for? Just once? Or more–I’m just saying. It’s all well and good to go out with friends and dance the night away, but sometimes all you want is some good food, a romantic venue and a gentleman to share it with. Hey, we’re being honest here, aren’t we? 

…you’re the ONLY one in your friend group who’s not bae’d up. 

Talk about taking the whole third-wheel thing to a whole other level. We’re talking fifth or seventh wheel here! Without a doubt, it’s always a good time hanging out with my squad (#squadgoals). But I would be lying to you if I said that I always felt perfectly content in my own singleness whenever I hang around my girls and their beaus. And it often causes me to wonder if there’s something seriously and intrinsically wrong with me–like, am I just some perpetual repellent of men, or what? 

…you always get asked if you’re seeing anybody.

Oh, the plight of my people–my fellow singles, that is. I’m gonna go ahead and apologize to you all in advance–on their behalf–for anything that your family or family friends might ask or say to you about your prolonged singleness. They mean well, truly they do. It’s just, well–they don’t always get it. And that’s okay. Just nod, sip your champagne and politely excuse yourself to the nearest cheese plate. It’s like it never even happened.

…you just want someone to share life with–who you’re also into romantically.

Who doesn’t want that? Someone to travel to new places with, or go on silly, random day trips with–heck, someone to passionately debate with over which of the seven Harry Potter movies is the best: The Half-Blood Prince or The Goblet of Fire? Choose wisely. It’s nice to do these things with your good friends too–no doubt. But as a single girl, I do occasionally pine for these moments that I wish I could share with a significant other. 

…you just want to find that special someone you just ‘click’ with.

…who’s not your dog–like an actual human person.

They make it look so nice on Instagram, don’t they? All cutesy and sweet, with the hand holding and cheesy smiles. Oh, and my favorite captions are the ones that go like, “(S)he’s my person.” Ugh–I think I just got a cavity from all that sugary sweet talk. But then again, I can’t help but kind of want that too. That moment where you just look at them–maybe they’re doing something weird, or talking about something they’re super passionate about–and you just know. They’re my person. Not that I believe in soul mates, or anything. But still. It must feel good to have…a person. 

…you start to question if there’s even anybody on the other line at all.

You know? Like, is he even out there Lord? Someone who is looking for someone like me–does he even exist? Can you give me a sign? Lord? Are you listening? And I’ll be honest, I do this often. If you could only be a fly on the wall listening to my prayers sometimes–yeah, it’s pretty bad. But like I mentioned before, He’s a good, good Father. Whatever, or whoever, He has in store for me–I can trust Him, and know it’s going to be good.When It Sucks to Be Single


So, from my experience, being single isn’t always a fun and rosy adventure–but it has challenged me to grow and mature in a lot of new ways.

What do you think? 

Has being single ever just sucked?

 

5 Comments
Leighann

Twenty-something, lover of Jesus. I like animals (esp. dogs), Fun-Fetti cupcakes and yoga. I love God and do my best to love others. I hate too-warm weather and socks that fall into your shoes when you walk. I'm a huge fan of Christian rap and cold, sunny days.

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5 Comments

  • Amanda

    While I’m not single, one of my friends is and this pretty much sums up everything I’ve ever heard her say.

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Thanks for reading, Amanda – the struggle is real out here. Lol, I’m glad I’m not the only one!

  • Adrienne @ C'est La Vie

    I can totally relate to your post! I love being independent and not reliant on another, and honestly half of the time, having a boyfriend sounds exhausting. But every once in a while it would be nice to have someone to take me out, stay in and watch movies with, etc. It definitely isn’t the worst, but not always the greatest. Loved the post, it was easy to read and I felt like it was super relatable 🙂

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Thanks for reading, Adrienne – and for normalizing my thoughts too lol sometimes, I just want to have someone to do things with (and be attracted to them!). I appreciate your insight!

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  • A strong woman also knows when to ask for help. And strong women, support and uplift each other. 
I’ve been feeling kind of burnt out from writing lately and my arch nemesis “writers block” has reared its ugly head once again. But I’ve been experimenting with “tactile creativity”—that is, using my hands to create things with yarn and fabric—which has been a real blessing to me. 
Sometimes, I just end up in a rut—physically, socially, mentally, spiritually, creatively, etc. But more often than not, I place myself there. So, this week I will try and work on getting out of it.

Any and all ideas are welcome. And a reminder—you are a brilliant light in this world, don’t dim it ♥️ ttys
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It’s officially #nationalweekofmaking ✨ + because #makersgonnamake I’m looking to add more fun creations to the shop. Stay tuned for more—and don’t forget to keep creating, friends! #createmorecompareless #etsysellersofinstagram
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You think I’m being dramatic? You must not have natural hair. 
She also has a super cute #Killmonger pin that I’m eyeing currently 👀
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  • Comparison is an ugly game that no one wins. 
Yet, every so often—more often than I’d like to admit—I find myself comparing where I am, how I look & what I create, to others. But where’s the grace in that? 
Comparison deprives you of joy and contentment. It makes it harder for you to be happy for others in their accomplishments—even your own. 
That’s why I started the #createmorecompareless hashtag because it reminds me to mind my own business, work well at the tasks I’ve been given and not stress about what I haven’t done, or who’s done it better... Two truths I’ve come to understand in all of this: 1) there will ALWAYS be someone who’s better than you, and 2) you don’t have to be like everyone else, just be yourself and whatever is meant to be, will. 
You are loved. No need to compare. You are extraordinary. ttys♥️
  • As promised, I’ve got something new for you! Today, #ontheblog I’m sharing another piece of my journey through singleness, inspired by @jbstwocents new book #PartyofOne 
I’m asking myself, what is it that I’m waiting for, exactly? To do the work that I’ve been entrusted to do. To try out a dream I’ve had. To see new places. 
You can read it over via the link in my bio ☝🏾 the next question is: what are YOU waiting for?
  • When you’re on a dating app, match with a guy, but they don’t talk...like—then why, bro? 
Anyway, hope your Sunday has been a good one—new blog post coming for you tomorrow. Just a reminder: you’re loved very much ♥️ ttys

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