From the Diary of a Single Girl: When Being Single Kinda, Sorta Sucks

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Part 2 of the Single Woman’s Blogging Challenge

“Does being single ever suck?”

 Oh–what? No, never!

In fact, it’s always sunshine-y and beautiful being single. Not a single sucky thing about being single.

Nope! Not here.


Okay, so maybe that was a little sarcastic.

Let me start by saying that singleness is in no way, the worst thing to ever happen to a person. Despite what some people might think, it really isn’t! 

But I’m not going to sit here and pretend it’s all sunflowers and puppies. The truth is, sometimes being single does suck. 

Like I mentioned before, there is definitely a reason (or maybe two or three) as to why I’m single. And some days, that truth is easy to understand and agree with. I have my whole life ahead of me. I can do anything–go anywhere and not have to consider anyone else’s opinion or feelings about it. Sorry mom and dad–I love you and all, but…

It’s the truth. The only person I’m accountable to is myself–well, and God.

But I have to admit, there are some days when that pesky self-doubt trickles in and whispers nothing but lies and condescension. And then there are those days when all I want is someone to take me out to a nice dinner and buy me ice cream and bring me pretty flowers when they pick me up.

People still do that, right?

I’m not usually one to be pessimistic, but for the sake of this blogging challenge, I want to share some moments that I’ve found that really highlight the “suckiness” of singleness. Enjoy!

Being single sucks when…

…all you want to do is get dressed up, and be taken out for a change. 

Everything has been taken care of, and all I have to do is show up. Is that really too much to ask for? Just once? Or more–I’m just saying. It’s all well and good to go out with friends and dance the night away, but sometimes all you want is some good food, a romantic venue and a gentleman to share it with. Hey, we’re being honest here, aren’t we? 

…you’re the ONLY one in your friend group who’s not bae’d up. 

Talk about taking the whole third-wheel thing to a whole other level. We’re talking fifth or seventh wheel here! Without a doubt, it’s always a good time hanging out with my squad (#squadgoals). But I would be lying to you if I said that I always felt perfectly content in my own singleness whenever I hang around my girls and their beaus. And it often causes me to wonder if there’s something seriously and intrinsically wrong with me–like, am I just some perpetual repellent of men, or what? 

…you always get asked if you’re seeing anybody.

Oh, the plight of my people–my fellow singles, that is. I’m gonna go ahead and apologize to you all in advance–on their behalf–for anything that your family or family friends might ask or say to you about your prolonged singleness. They mean well, truly they do. It’s just, well–they don’t always get it. And that’s okay. Just nod, sip your champagne and politely excuse yourself to the nearest cheese plate. It’s like it never even happened.

…you just want someone to share life with–who you’re also into romantically.

Who doesn’t want that? Someone to travel to new places with, or go on silly, random day trips with–heck, someone to passionately debate with over which of the seven Harry Potter movies is the best: The Half-Blood Prince or The Goblet of Fire? Choose wisely. It’s nice to do these things with your good friends too–no doubt. But as a single girl, I do occasionally pine for these moments that I wish I could share with a significant other. 

…you just want to find that special someone you just ‘click’ with.

…who’s not your dog–like an actual human person.

They make it look so nice on Instagram, don’t they? All cutesy and sweet, with the hand holding and cheesy smiles. Oh, and my favorite captions are the ones that go like, “(S)he’s my person.” Ugh–I think I just got a cavity from all that sugary sweet talk. But then again, I can’t help but kind of want that too. That moment where you just look at them–maybe they’re doing something weird, or talking about something they’re super passionate about–and you just know. They’re my person. Not that I believe in soul mates, or anything. But still. It must feel good to have…a person. 

…you start to question if there’s even anybody on the other line at all.

You know? Like, is he even out there Lord? Someone who is looking for someone like me–does he even exist? Can you give me a sign? Lord? Are you listening? And I’ll be honest, I do this often. If you could only be a fly on the wall listening to my prayers sometimes–yeah, it’s pretty bad. But like I mentioned before, He’s a good, good Father. Whatever, or whoever, He has in store for me–I can trust Him, and know it’s going to be good.When It Sucks to Be Single


So, from my experience, being single isn’t always a fun and rosy adventure–but it has challenged me to grow and mature in a lot of new ways.

What do you think? 

Has being single ever just sucked?

 

5 Comments
Leighann

Twenty-something, lover of Jesus. I like animals (esp. dogs), Fun-Fetti cupcakes and yoga. I love God and do my best to love others. I hate too-warm weather and socks that fall into your shoes when you walk. I'm a huge fan of Christian rap and cold, sunny days.

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5 Comments

  • Amanda

    While I’m not single, one of my friends is and this pretty much sums up everything I’ve ever heard her say.

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Thanks for reading, Amanda – the struggle is real out here. Lol, I’m glad I’m not the only one!

  • Adrienne @ C'est La Vie

    I can totally relate to your post! I love being independent and not reliant on another, and honestly half of the time, having a boyfriend sounds exhausting. But every once in a while it would be nice to have someone to take me out, stay in and watch movies with, etc. It definitely isn’t the worst, but not always the greatest. Loved the post, it was easy to read and I felt like it was super relatable 🙂

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Thanks for reading, Adrienne – and for normalizing my thoughts too lol sometimes, I just want to have someone to do things with (and be attracted to them!). I appreciate your insight!

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  • 𝒹𝒶𝓎 18 𝑜𝒻 31

Obsession. I like to say photography is my love language—I have no idea what that means, but it sounds nice, right? I’m obsessed with taking pictures and learning more about composition, editing and trying new things with my little @canonusa baby. *accidentally deleted my post from yesterday—so here it is again*
  • This is not a drill—it’s a GIVEAWAY! 
Meet Kayla (@kayzilch). Though we’ve met just recently, I immediately recognized her as a kindred spirit (she’s also a Type-4 Enneagram)! Her writing is real, authentic and delves into an array of important topics such as mental health, identity, faith and much more on her blog @tobetruth_. She’s also working to become a certified yoga teacher and is passionate about her work as a freelance writer! 
Meet Meghan (@meghantschanz). I’ve never met a woman so determined and passionate about creating authentic community and tackling tough topics. She’s not afraid to go there and start conversations about real-world issues like sex- and labor-trafficking around the world, feminism (or lack thereof) within the church and equality for ALL. She’s currently working on securing a book deal, with the goal of empowering women around the globe to recognize their influence in society and their ability to make the world a more equal place. 
These women are doing some amazing things and I’m honestly just excited to come along for the ride. I believe in us, the work we’ve been called to do and I hope, after learning more about us, you will too. To celebrate and continue advocating for causes we believe in, we’re doing a giveaway with @causebox. 
Here’s where you come in:

1. Give this post a (♡) double tap.

2. Go follow @meghantschanz & @kayzilch.

3. After you’ve done both of those things, come back here and tag two women whose life, work and friendship you believe in! 
The prize is a summer-themed @causebox valued at $300, packed full of small-batch, sustainable and ethically created gifts made by women and small businesses around the world. 
Winner will be announced Friday (8/24) morning at 10am EST!
  • 𝒹𝒶𝓎 17 𝑜𝒻 31

Blue. I’ve been looking for a way to fill my ginormous (at least it seems that way) white living room wall. Every time I thought I knew how I wanted to decorate that space, I changed my mind suddenly, determined that there had to be a better way to fill the empty 
space.

I didn’t know this about me before, but it hit me one day, as my parents were helping me unpack my stuff in my new place. My mom began asking me what I’d like my new place to look like, rug colors, mat textures, wall—fixtures and all. I am no good at decorating. Like, I had no idea how to put a space together. I’ve never been on my own before and the idea of having to decide how my space would be...mine, freaked me out. 
But then, little by little I found some pieces that I didn’t hate, and started to put them together. And yesterday, I stumbled upon these little treasures at Marshall’s. I couldn’t resist the ocean hues and beach vibes. I knew it was meant to be. 
All that to say, for anyone else struggling to put your place together after either never having to do it before #livingsingle or maybe putting the pieces of your life back together after a breakup or split—take your time. It will all come together eventually and it will look amazing. And before you know it, it will start to look, like you. ttys
  • 𝒹𝒶𝓎 16 𝑜𝒻 31

Hot. No, it’s not what you think. As a matter of fact, when I first saw this picture I was horrified. I saw all that was wrong with my body, my hair and my skin—ugh. 
But you know what? No one’s perfect. And thank God I don’t have to be. Plus, my body was/is working just fine, my hair was moisturized, and my skin was poppin’. Trying to shift my moments of self-doubt and body-consciousness to thankfulness and positive self-talk. 
Also, the day this was taken was HOT, so it still counts towards today’s #augusteyecandy.

I don’t know if anyone’s told you today, but you’re made splendidly and you couldn’t be more perfect than you are right now—yes, even in this heat with your mascara running down your face. ttys 
S/O to @kayzilch and/or her awesome fiancé, Michael for this pic 📸
  • 𝒹𝒶𝓎 14 𝑜𝒻 31

5pm. 
It’s crazy to think that I’ve actually posted one picture on IG for TWO weeks straight. Especially considering all that’s been going on around me: moving back across the country for school, moving into my new place, actually starting school, remembering how to (somewhat) adult—throw in a little bit of anxiety, and you’ve got yourself the past two weeks of my life. 
All that to say—we made it, folks. We made it to today. And that is enough. You’re doing great—ttys
  • TW: Anxiety/Panic Attack

Anxiety is like a shadow that’s been following me around since I was about thirteen. I guess puberty marked the onset of racing thoughts, subtle hyperventilation and that queasy feeling you get when something’s just not right. I had my first panic attack at nineteen, during a new hire orientation. It felt like I was having a heart attack—my heart inexplicably began to race, my hands shook and I felt warmth all around me. 
I excused myself to the reception area and, in a panic, asked the receptionist if she could help me. She said to place my hands above my head and breathe. I paced around the lobby and breathed, eyes closed. Inhale. Exhale. I worried for a moment that I would die. Then gradually, my heart began to beat at normal pace again. My breathing deepened and my body cooled down to normal as I continued to pace, slower this time. The kind receptionist gave me some water to sip and sat me down until I was ready to go back to the meeting. 
Anxiety can feel like a high-speed train. Going 5mph one minute and 150 mph the next. It can also be subtler, feeling like you can’t quite catch your breathe and you begin to hyperventilate, in a way that is only recognizable to you. 
Although I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, anxiety has taught me the importance of coming back to the present. And how allowing myself to feel what is presently around me, can ground me and remind me that I’m alive. I’m safe. 
I share this story in order to start the conversation. Anxiety is a part of my life, whether I like it or not. I hope you know that first of all:

1. You are loved beyond measure and valuable even with your anxious thoughts and actions 
and 
2. You are not the only one 
ttys

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