“Don’t plan without God. God seems to have a delightful way of upsetting the plans we have made, when we have not taken Him into account.”
“I’ve never been in this place before. I don’t mean literally, like in GA—though, this is also true. I mean, I’ve never been here before emotionally, spiritually or mentally. This place of growth and pruning. Of maturation and childishness. Of resignation and endurance. Of anxiousness and peace. It seems to be happening at once, in a simultaneous rhythm. It’s wonderful and terrifying and beautiful, all at the same time. And it’s oddly intoxicating, this feeling of reckless abandon—knowing that I am completely incapable of anything without God.”
– me (2017)
I am capable of nothing without God.
I literally just typed that sentence out after going to Him in prayer in preparation to write this post. You see, nothing I do is possible without Him. He sustains even the smallest of moments I have and steps that I take. Like writing on this blog, or finding my way around my new home, or taking even one more breath.
All of it is in His hands.
Writer’s block is real, ya’ll—since when do I say “ya’ll”? It’s happening—Leighann, who? Look out, California!
It is real. At least it is for me. But I don’t think it is lack of inspiration or ideas. No, truly it is not, because the Lord has been showing me too many things for it to be so. You know what I think it is?
It’s my self-sufficiency wanting to take over. It’s my flesh telling me, “this should be as easy as breathing for you, girl. You’ve been writing for years, why can’t you just sit down and write something now? You’re just being lazy and allowing yourself to be distracted, that’s all. Get up, and just write—it’s not that hard.”
But then why has the process felt like I was dragging myself out of quicksand? Struggling to get out of this sand of self-doubt and perceived incompetency that keeps sucking me back in.
Have you ever felt this way? Has there ever been something in your life that you love to do—perhaps that God has called you to do, that you just can’t seem to…do?
If not, that’s fantastic—seriously. Keep doing what you’re doing and seeking God throughout it all. His power is great and He desires to see His gifts being put to use for His kingdom!
However—if you see yourself as falling into the other camp that I mentioned above, you’re in good company, my friend.
I’m going to fill you in on a little something that God has been discreetly teaching me, each and every day as I meander through the wilderness of this new season. Something that has stemmed from many hours trying to craft even a sentence that sounded somewhat coherent and some tearful nights of questioning my God-given gifts.
I am fully incapable of anything without God.
There, I said it. Did you hear it?
Let me say it again, just to make sure:
I am fully INCAPABALE of ANYTHING without God.I am fully incapable of anything without God. Click To Tweet
Even with something that “should come as naturally to me as breathing”. Truthfully, there is nothing I can do or get through without Christ. Not one thing.
You see, the world will tell you otherwise. It will sucker you into believing that you’re self-sufficient, not needing anything or anyone to get to where you want to be—that you can simply, JUST DO IT.
“I am the vine and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
Nothing. Apart from the Lord, I can do absolutely nothing. What a humbling concept.
I’ve come to know this truth recently, through my struggles of waiting for God to ease my anxiety over being in a new place and starting over. Through trying to find authentic, God-filled community. And through endless minutes, hours and days trying to find the words to put everything I’ve learned so far together.
All of which I have failed to do—on my own.
But with God—the possibilities have been endless.
It was with God that I sat down for hours at a time writing, crafting and collaborating on an essay proving why I should be picked to attend my top school for my Master’s degree in Social Work.
With God, I got into my top school, supported financially and had a housing situation worked out within weeks.
With God, I achieved one of my dreams to move out of state for the first time, on my own.
And with God, I am still here navigating through this season—growing, learning and challenging myself to new heights.
Without God, I am incapable of anything. But with Him, there is no end to what is possible.
Including me writing this to you right now. DISCLAIMER: There is nothing about this that was done in my own strength. If that were the case, I’d be posting only the first few lines, if that.
Because that’s what happens when I try to do anything independent of God’s power. It’s a lost cause—a moot point....when I try to do anything independent of God’s power. It’s a lost cause—a moot point. Click To Tweet
As I sit with God, in continuous prayer over this, I hear Him telling me that He is the source of all creativity, insight and truth. Why would I, a mere human, not go to Him for counsel on anything and everything I do? His knowledge base is far more vast than anything I could come up with—even with Google. I’m just sayin’.
If I’ve learned anything in these past few months, it’s that God hears, and God cares. He knows that my desire to keep writing—even though finding the time in grad school is hard—is genuine. He understands that I yearn to continue to write in a way that brings Him glory and encourages other believers and those who have yet to know Him.
He gets it all.
You know why?
Because He created these very desires and placed them within me. And He didn’t do it just for kicks and giggles either
This gift, of writing and relating to others via the written word, is not merely for my own selfish benefit. He has revealed to me that He places within each of us, gifts to use for His glory, to share His love for His people—for His name to be magnified, known and worshipped by all.He places within each of us, gifts to use for His glory, to share His love for His people—for His name to be magnified, known and worshipped by all. Click To Tweet
With such a beautiful calling and purpose behind them, don’t you think we should start looking at our gifts and talents a little differently?
I know I will—and I hope you will too.
Some takeaway verses:
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways ACKNOWLEDGE HIM, and he will make your paths straight.”
“Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.”
Grace and peace be with you all.