Body Goals: My Re-commitment to Loving my Body Exactly As it Is

  • July 17, 2018
Body Confidence

First of all, I can do this. I’m writing this to myself so that every time I read this, I have to say this to myself. 

I can do this.

What is “this” exactly? This is my commitment to loving my body. Or, my re-commitment to loving my body. Since going back to school, I’ve been keenly aware of how poorly I’ve been treating this vessel I call home. During school, stress was inevitable, as I am a perfectionist in most of what I do and I put entirely too much pressure on myself to get things to be just so. As a result of this perfection-induced stress–

I have gained weight. 

Even typing that out makes me cringe. I have gained weight and I can see that my body is storing fat in places that I’d rather it not. And I’m ready for a change. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said that to myself over the past 26 years of my life. I’ve always been a bit overweight and “thicker” than many of my peers, so the idea of losing weight makes me want to just gouge my eyeballs out—at least that way I wouldn’t even see that my body has changed. 

Body Goals

Body Confidence

It’s funny, because when you’re young, you hear people who have a few years (or decades) on you telling you things to expect when you reach a certain age. This comes, of course, from their own experience. But when you’re young, you don’t really believe that will ever happen to you. 

I remember someone once telling me that once she hit 25 her body changed almost overnight—at least, that’s how it felt. She couldn’t just eat like she once used to and even had to cut out some things that she never before had reactions (acne, bloating, etc.) to. And when I tell you that this was my life for the past few months, I’m so serious. It’s as if my entire body just decided to make a shift without consulting me and now I’m trying to figure out how to work with it. How rude. 

But in all seriousness, I want a change.

My eating habits aren’t the worst ever, but they’re not great. I am a serious sugar fiend and with a familial history of diabetes and hypertension, I’m positive those habits are not sustainable for me living a long, healthy life. If I’m honest, I’m not 100% certain where I’ll start, but I think I will try to be more aware of my body. 

I’ve lost touch with my vessel.

After sleepless nights ignoring my body’s fatigue in order to meet a deadline, or sitting in terribly un-ergonomically correct ways rather than listening to my body’s aches and pops, and after putting regular exercise on the back burner—I’ve lost touch with my vessel. 

Body Confidence

Body Confidence

Aerie Swimsuit: Top and Bottoms (both sizes are XL); Tassel Earrings by ohshecreates on Etsy (that’s me!)

Side note: This swimsuit is the first two-piece I’ve worn in a while. I feel like a million bucks when I’m in it and I wanted to recommend Aerie brand for anyone looking for flattering swimwear.

This post is not sponsored–just helpful. 

#TheOppositeofInsanity

And now, I’m ready to make peace with it. All of it. With its rolls, bumps, scars—all of it. Because I love my body and am so proud of what it’s carried me through and what it’s capable of doing. 

They say, “insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result”.  Personally, I think I’ve been doing the same things and expecting a different result for a long time. It’s so simple isn’t it? Do something different and then you can expect that something different to happen as a result.

I think it’s about time that I started living in a way that promotes my physical and mental health. Here’s to my body. May I accept you just as you are. May I treat you in a way that honors you, and does not tear you down. #theoppositeofinsanity


Body Goals

Have you ever had to apologize to your body for how you’ve treated it?

What would you say if you did?

 

16 Comments
  • Cristina Alciati

    I applaude your courage for writing this post. Body image is a very touchy subject for women who don’t fit in with the supermodel, superskinny, superslender beauty standard of these days, i.e. the majority of the female population. We tend to compare ourselves to impossible standards brought about mostly thanks to Photoshop artists. If you are contemplating changes to your body before you embark on a weight loss or fitness program you must accept yourself exactly as you are. Unless you approach this process from a place of love and compassion you won’t go very far. But when you do magic happens.

    At 26 your body has stopped growing up and it’s now starting to age, that’s why it feels different. The good news is that it’s entirely up to you how you sail through this process. Your fitness levels won’t peak for another 10 years or so and even after that, with a few adjustments, you can expect to be in top form well into your golden years. <3

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Thanks so much, Cristina! That’s so insightful and encouraging to hear–I still have the best of years ahead of me to make lasting, healthy changes to promote my wellbeing. And I so hear you when you said to approach this journey with love and compassion–that is KEY. Thanks so much for sharing and reading

  • Scott Gombar

    Very cool post. While I would like to lose some weight (most of my weight seems to go straight to my stomach) I believe I look healthy at the weight my doctor wants. It’s very important to be happy in your own skin.

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      You’re so right, Scott–being healthy is so much more important than how you look! It’s also such an awesome thing when you can be comfortable in your own skin!

  • Amy

    Beautiful post. Body image wasn’t a concern for me, I know I am larger than most ladies as my inherited my mom’s genes of a large body structure. I am not overweight as I limit what I eat, eat a variety of food, and exercise (and I also work as a preschool teacher, which is an exercise among itself). But, I know I will not be thin as a supermodel or be really slim. I am happy as myself.

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Thanks so much for sharing, Amy! I’m so glad you’re happy being who you are and with how you look–yes to body positivity!

  • Cierra

    Thank you for sharing this! I am definitely in the same boat. I’m halfway through my 25th year and I’ve also begun to notice the weight shifts and the appearance of stretch marks seemly everyday (like when did you get there!?).

    If I had to apologize to my body, I would want to say that I’m sorry for focusing so much on the negative changes. Instead, I wish to applaud it for the work it does everyday. Though I’ve struggled with leg issues since puberty, they have really showed me lately how strong they can be if I just keep pushing. I would also thank my body for sending me signals and remind myself to listen.

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Ah, I love this Cierra!!! Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing your heart with us. Your body I’m sure appreciates your apology and I pray you’ll continue to love it as it is and for what it has done for you.

  • Cameryn

    Thank you for your vulnerability. It is so encouraging to read your thoughts and heart about your body. You go girl!!!

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Thanks so much, Cameryn! I so appreciate the support and love!

  • Rachael Berthiaume

    Oh I loved this! So so many of us have been in this position, including myself. I still find myself not loving and listening to my body as much as I should. The first step is the realization and wanting to make a positive change, you’ve done it! This was beautiful! (also..LOVE aerie swimsuits)

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Yes, yes and yes! Thanks so much Rachael–it takes time, and that’s okay. We’ll get there in time. I love Aerie too!

  • Jess

    I love your raw honesty in this post. Our bodies..our temples..our nightmares..our hopes..our fears ..all wrapped in one package held together by skin! You’ve got this!

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Thanks so much, Jess! I love how you put that–all wrapped up in one. What a beautiful reminder to love and honor our temples!

  • Andrea

    This is so encouraging. YOU ARE so encouraging. Thank you for this!

    • Leighann

      Leighann

      Ah, thank you Andrea! I’m so glad you enjoyed reading–thanks for the encouragement!

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