Disappointment sucks.

I would never wish it on anyone and if I had it my way, I’d do away with it entirely. I don’t know about you, but for me, disappointment evokes feelings of sadness, helplessness and joyless(ness). When I get stuck in these emotions and feelings, it can be hard to escape the negative cycle that disappointment perpetrates in my life. Lately, God has been speaking so much into my life around the theme of disappointment. And, true to His mysterious nature, He’s been doing so in ways that I never imagined He would.

In fact, He’s been revealing what my reactions to disappointment look like and how they manifest in my life. How—you might ask—is He showing me these things? What exactly has me so disappointed as of late?

Well, to put it bluntly, there are two things: my hair and my singleness.

I know. Two weirdly unrelated and maybe to you, frivolous things. How exactly could these two separate desires be related at all, and how is God using them to highlight this season of change and disappointment in my life?

First, let me show you just how connected these two unrelated desires actually are:

I don’t trust just anyone with my hair. My edges need protecting and care. My scalp is sensitive and I need a braider who will be responsive and aware of that.

I don’t trust just anyone with my heart. My heart needs protecting and care. I am a sensitive being who needs someone who will be responsive and aware of that.

I need a braider who is consistent and intentional. Please don’t leave me wondering what to expect when I get to your salon/home. Be up front with me about pricing, set a date and tell me what I need to bring to my appointment. I don’t have time for games.

I need a partner who is consistent and intentional. Please don’t leave me wondering what to expect when you’re pursuing me. Be up front with me about what you expect, set a date (or many) with me, and tell me what you need from me to bring into our relationship. I don’t have time for games.

See what I mean? The comparison is uncanny. In this season of wonderfully challenging growth, I feel as though I am simultaneously in a season of persistent disappointment. I took a closer look at the way in which God has been revealing my reactions to disappointment and how I can change my response to meeting disappointment by cultivating a heart of thankfulness and joy.

How, you might ask, did I do this?