I’ve been thinking a lot about patience. Sometimes, it’s hard to be patient and I find myself asking God why He’s withholding good things from me.
Like, God this is so good, why can’t I have it? Like, why don’t You want this for me?
Don’t you want me to be happy?
I imagine myself stomping my foot like a spoiled little girl in a toy store, right at this moment. Because I am. I am spoiled. God spoils me, because He loves me. He loves me more than anyone on this earth ever could, which is crazy. Because, I know how much my parents love me. And though, I wouldn’t say I was necessarily spoiled materialistically as a kid, I was spoiled. I had them both to myself. All their time, money and whatever they had left in them, was dedicated to me and only me. It’s safe to say that they wanted to give me the best of everything, if they could help it. And I am eternally grateful for it all – even if I don’t always show it (sorry, guys!).
Well, God is just like that, only more. He already knows what’s best for me, and even if I beg and plead and whine and pout, He wants to give me the best. Whether or not I personally agree with Him is irrelevant. But it just got me thinking.
Recently, I spent some time thinking about God’s best. I recognize that God is good. I know that He is faithful. I know that He loves me deeply. I also know that whatever path He has set me on, is to ultimately bring Him glory. All that I am, all that I desire, all I that I do is to bring Him the glory and honor. Right?
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
So, if all that I am and all that I am to do here in my time on Earth is to glorify Him, then those things that I so desire to happen will happen but if–and only if, they will ultimately bring that glory to Him.
Does that make sense?
Yeah–I’m still wrapping my brain around that one too.
It’s funny though, thinking about it. Because sometimes, I sit and I wonder, what if X, Y, or Z that I want so badly to happen doesn’t ever happen?
Then…it just kind of clicked. I thought to myself, well then maybe that means it wouldn’t be ultimately glorifying to God. At least not now. Or, well – maybe, ever. And maybe that’s okay?
I had to view this through the lens of humility and take a closer look at my heart after arriving at this conclusion. And I have to say, I still feel uneasy thinking about it.
AM I WILLING?
I felt like that is the question God placed on my heart: Leighann, are you willing to do this? For My glory? For Me?
And if I’m being honest, some days I am reluctant to respond.